When people see you, they don’t realize the struggle you’re going through. Living with ADHD is hard, and life is harder for ADHD in women.
ADHD can create problems in all aspects of life; your every decision, thought, and action. I wish the neurotypical world knew how hard it is to even get started? Sometimes even the most basic tasks like reorganizing a room, working on a simple assignment, or shopping can appear overwhelming.
The to-do list is touted as the best solution for people who have trouble accomplishing any job. The list allows people to identify tasks, list them in the order of importance and urgency, and schedule and accomplish them one at a time.
Even with a to-do list, we find more uncompleted tasks than finished ones at the end of the week. Sometimes I think it’s better to do nothing than see the chaos I leave behind with incomplete jobs.
I have been thought to believe that EVERY PROBLEM HAS A SOLUTION. After years of struggle with ADHD, I’ve managed to put together a guide on HOW TO CREATE A TO-DO LIST THAT WORKS FOR ADHD WOMEN.
From experience, I can say, the guide works. So, without further delay, here is the guide.
How ADHD Hampers Our Ability to Perform Even Simple Tasks
ADHD people have trouble getting things done without a to-do list because of the way the brain functions – it’s all about science. The ADHD brain wants to do everything at once (and miserably fail at that) or prioritizes tasks that are interesting to the ADHD brain, as opposed to things that are urgent or important.
As much as the person wants, the brain just doesn’t find uninteresting and mundane things interesting enough. For ADHD women, one of the basic elements of an everyday errand – prioritizing – is an uphill task in itself. Everyday chores hold no particular fascination for ADHD people because they have trouble organizing, focusing, and transitioning from step to step.
For example, cleaning the house is a fairly straightforward task for others but not for ADHD women like us. We start with the living room; soon realize there are play toys scattered on the floor that need to be moved to the kid’s room.
Once in the kid’s room, the brain ignores the living room and skips to making the kid’s bed, changing the sheets, and reorganizing the room. Then we remember that the sheets are soiled, so now washing the sheets becomes the priority and every other task fades from memory.
Why this confusion? The ADHD brain has problem organizing tasks and deciding which is more urgent or important. So, the brain focuses on what it perceives is important at that moment. Soon, the ADHD person finds herself staring at a long list of half-finished tasks even after hours or days of cleaning.
Experts and ADHD people like us know – a to-do list will help get things done. But, most ADHD people are not fans of the to-do list. That’s because we hate processes. For us, it’s long, needs focus, boring, and easy to forget. The rebellious minds of ADHD people refuse to abide by the constraints of the to-do list.
What’s required is a flexible and customized to-do list that even people with ADHD can follow.
3 Step Process for ADHD Women to Set Tasks and Achieve Them
A customized to-do list isn’t an alternative to conventional treatment for ADHD. To lead a normal life, we need every help we can get. For ADHD women, a customized to-do list along with regular exercise, ADHD diet, adequate sleep, and medication will make everyday life a lot easier.
Now, let’s get down to the steps that’ll help you develop a to-do list that works.
1. Create a To-Do List That Works for ADHD
Why is a separate section on creating a list? Putting together a to-do list is a simple enough exercise. Yes, it’s simple for others, not for people with attention deficit disorder, especially ADHD women who shoulder the burden of family and work. Here are reasons why you need a list:
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- Enthusiasm quickly turns into boredom with a long to-do list
- We lack the discipline to get through the to-do list process
- We live in the moment and don’t think about long-term outcomes
- We’re terrible at time management
- We’re bad at organizing tasks according to their importance
Actions to Take
Brain Dump List
Preparing a list is an exercise that needs calm, relaxed, and focused mind. For ADHD women, stress is an integral part of daily life. Hence, before you prepare a to-do list, make a longer and exhaustive Brain Dump list. Empty your mind; put every task, plan, thought, feeling, and whatnot into writing. The Brain Dump will be long, but it’ll make your next task simple and easy.
Prioritize Tasks on the List
Now that everything is already on a paper, in the list form, all you have to do is pick important chores and organize them into a list. Use the following tips to organize an ADHD to-do list:
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- List the tasks in no particular order and assign a deadline for each task
- Also assign consequences for the completion and non-completion of each task
- Arrange the tasks in the right order
- Allot a time you’re most likely to work on each task (morning, evening, etc.)
- If possible, combine two tasks that can be performed together (exercise and music, running the washing machine and picking up toys, etc.)
2. Leave Scope for Adjustment in Your To-Do List
In this stage, you prepare the final version of the to-do list based on the rough list created in the previous step. Note down your plan for the day into what are you most likely to do in the morning, noon, and evening. Now, allot specific tasks on the to-do list to time spots that are most convenient to you.
But, life is so unpredictable and ADHD women are more likely to miss the task or leave it unfinished than complete it. So, create wriggle room for yourself in the to-do list. Here are a few points to help you create a flexible to-do list:
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- What are the tasks that MUST be done as opposed to things that can be rescheduled?
- What are the tasks that can be skipped (i.e.) optional chores on the list?
- What are the tasks that can be temporarily rescheduled?
- What are the things that can be delegated or further simplified?
Now here is a plan that’s suitable for ADHD women. It’s organized, flexible, and rewarding (we’ll discuss ‘rewards’ soon).
3. Tips to Get Through the To-Do List
Before proceeding further, let’s dispel the claims that ADHD people lack enthusiasm. We begin every task full of enthusiasm, but soon the neurotransmitter dopamine runs out, and we lose all interest in the job at hand.
Hence, the key to mastering a to-do list is to make the task interesting and rewarding. Here are few tips to encourage ADHD women to stay on task.
Find out what’ll prevent you from getting bored with the task
This could be anything from working from a particular place, taking a 10min break after every half an hour, choosing the easiest part of the task now and postponing the rest to the next day, and more. Identify tasks you consider boring and come up with ways to make them interesting.
Identify the underlying reasons that make you procrastinate
Understanding the reasons for your behavior can help find a solution. Why are you skipping some tasks but not the others? Why do you find some tasks unappealing?
For example, suppose you hate vacuuming. Give some thought to the process and find out why you hate it. It might be because you hate the loud noise. If that’s the problem then purchase a better machine or put earphones/headphones on and listen to your favorite music.
Breakdown the tasks into simple steps
A task in its entirety may appear daunting, not to others, but ADHD women like us. At the slightest opportunity, ADHD people will abandon a task because that’s who were are. But, not anymore. Break down the task into simple steps that’s easy to accomplish.
For example, you won’t be reading this blog post if not for this simple rule. Although I wanted to write a blog post on this subject for a long time, the task felt daunting. I decided to break down the task into research phase, synopsis creation, writing, rewriting, proofreading, and publishing.
I was holding off the task for months, but once I figured a way, the whole process took just 3 days to finish.
Reward yourself after completion of a hated task
For ADHD women, the mind is full of purpose, focus, and energy when starting the to-do list. As the dopamine level depletes, it becomes difficult to find energy and motivation to pursue the task.
Such situations call for incentives to be added to the tasks to get them done. Bear in mind to reward yourself only when a task that would go unfinished without an incentive is completed.
To make the point clear, the ADHD mind works differently. Dangling a carrot to make us labor on a task to earn the reward won’t work. The dopamine-starved mind won’t budge for a reward if it’s only available at the end. You’ll have a better chance of starting a hated task if you reward yourself before the job.
Recap and a Request
A summary of the 3-step process for ADHD women to get through a To-do list:
- Create a To-Do List that Works for ADHD
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- Prepare a Brain Dump List
- Prioritize Tasks on the List
- Leave Scope for Adjustment in Your To-Do List
- Tips to Get Through the To-Do List
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- Find out what’ll prevent you from getting bored with the task
- Identify the underlying reasons that make you procrastinate
- Breakdown the tasks into simple steps
- Reward yourself after completion of a hated task
This little guide is a product of love and struggle. I’m eager to know if you have tried it, your experiment with the to-do list, and suggestions if you have any!
DARE TO BE DIFFERENT
